Life, Examined

March 4, 2015

I was just remembering a conversation that I had with one of my sisters back in October of last year, when I was at the genesis of this whole thing.  It shocked me to remember what was said and what it says abut how far I've come in this process.  At the outset, my idea was an enclosed and self sustaining community dedicated to helping victims of human trafficking.  All of this was still hypothetical and I was building castles in the sky, describing to her what I was hoping for and she pointed out to me that what we were talking about sounded like a life work, really, and she wondered if I shouldn't try to start with what was already there.  This was a major duh! moment for me- she's always talking me by storm with her clarity- and it became immediately clear that I had a coice to make: do I chase my ideal and have an easily abandoned plan to show for my efforts at the end of spring semester, or do I "work with what is already there" and have my project morph into something entirely different, but concrete and useful and finished with the semester.  A hard question to arrive at, for some reason, but it was easy to answer.  So I got all flexible and I've been going wherever this project has taken me ever since.  I haven't loved every step of the process- that is for certain.  I have seen the darker side of people more frequently and I've had a peek into true madness- that was a little terrifying, and it will be necessary to be careful what I say about that.  But my faith in people has had a shot in the arm.

I remember telling my sis that I thought women ought to be able to do sex work if they want to.  This made sense to me.  Why should government regulate this?  I thought prnography was an art form, a form of expression, and that it should be protected as such.  While not interested in pornography myself, I thought that the people who objected so strongly to it were nut jobs or fanatics.  A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then.  My sister gave me what almost amounted to the fish eye (she can be very supercilious as necessary), and then proverbially slapped me upside the head with her reasoning.  She went on about how prostitution never benefits women ever.  At all.  Which is fundamentally true.  Even if A woman here and there manages to benefit from it, it is still to the detriment of women as a whole.  She talked about about how it is a man-made institution designed to benefit men.  Which is also true.  And about how a person with stockholm syndrome will always defend the person or the institution that has taken them hostage.  Which is also true. The manner of her delivery may have put a few hairs up down my spine, but it really made me think. I kept remembering her statement as I spoke to survivors of human trafficking and directors who work with this problem and learned the statistical facts of the case.  My sister was right and I was totally out there in left field!

Many people defend pornography as an art form, and most of us are concerned about the over regulation of our lives- but this is a little bit like seat belt laws.  A person may object to being required to wear a seat belt- but it is not all about him or her.  It is about the other people in the car that he will hit and kill like a loose cannon in the event of an accident- regardless of whether or not they put their belt on.  It is like car seats- parents are required to put their kids in them- not to protect the parents, but the idea is that as a helpless citizen of our country, children deserve protection from our institutions- even protection from their parents. This is very much the case with prostitution.  It does not make sense- in terms of justice- to protect the rights of 2 women to do sex work and ignore the suffering of 98 others.

So, this is what I have learned about prostitution (and some of it surprised me):

1- 98%, the overwhelming majority, of prostitutes do not want to be in the industry.  They have been brought into the industry either by a)coercion b)legitimate death threats c)parents who don't give a damn about them d)fraud or e)vulnerability in a system that gives them no acceptable alternatives

2- The average age of prostitutes is 13- we are talking 5-18 here (yes, 5)

3- The average life span of a prostitute is 7 years

4- The most common cause of death is fatal gunshot, and the most common murderer is the pimp- with the johns as a second

5- Prostitutes are literally locked into the system as there is no way for them to survive without turning tricks, unless they are blessed with a miracle.  

6- A prostitute loses.  Everytime.  She loses her life- she is forced into a new and terrible life.  She loses her family- they typically will have nothing to do with her after this, and she does not tell them what is going on because she is protecting them from the threats her pimp has made against them. She loses her peace- there is no space that is hers, no safety.  She loses her credit- pimps do not ruin their own credit, they ruin their hoes' records. She loses her sanity- the war is 24/7 for years on end.  She does not end up with PTSD, she ends up with multiple personalities instead and this seriously screws her for the rest of her life.  She loses her freedom- she doesn't get to make meaningful decisions for herself and she has to make her decisions either at gun point or at the risk of gun point.  She loses her self- respect and dignity- being raped 20 times a night, being forced to act like she wants it, having to take money for it (so the pimp isn't liable for the transaction) then having to turn the money over to him.  Wow.  She loses her credibility- nobody will listen to her.  She says she was raped- the law says it was consentual.  She says she wants out- organizations say we know you will just go back.  She says I'm not a criminal.  The law says you are the only criminal party in this situation.  The John gets a $50 fine, the pimp gets off scott free, the prostitute gets $2,000 in fines (which she will have to make commitments in order for the pinp to cover), jail time, and a 99 year sex offender status.

7- The only thing that will fix this situation is to reverse that model.  Make selling sex legal- we have to decriminalize the victims, and make buying sex illegal.  Swap the consequence, but with modifications.  If the prostitute is 18 or older, make it jail time, and a $2,000 fine, and a 99 year sex offender status.  It is only fair that the consequence be equal.  But if the prostitue is under 18, call it what it is.  Convict the offender of child rape.  If the child was beaten, as often is the case, convict the offender of child battery.  If the prostitute was murdered, convict the offender of murder.  Give them the standard punishment and then add to it punishments for child rape and battery, and murder.  Personally, I think that sterilization should be the consequence for a first offense- to prevent them impregnating a completely helpless child as they have already proved their willingness to do so, and the ruination of a new life. This may sound crazy but it is fair- and it would solve the problem pretty quick.  The things that these men do to young girls is beyond comprehension.  They hire the time with the girl(s)/boy(s), and live out their sick fantasies with her/him/them, including all kinds of violence, torture, and even murder.  In Thailand, it is common for this treatment to last for a month at a time.  In all places, it is not uncommon for their fantasies to include murder.  Then they hire a replacement.  These girls are literally expendable.  The pornography industry feeds the problem by creating these violent and cruel fantasies that johns then want to act out.  As long as the consequence is minor, this will continue to be a huge problem.

8- The pornography lobby is the second most powerful lobby in the US, only second to the tobacco industry.  The current laws make selling sex illegal and buying sex legal.  Why, you might ask?  Because lawmakers want to protect prostitution and pornography because they are users.  Recently, South Carolina made it legal for lobbyists to buy sexual favors for politicians. This is so clearly a bad idea on many levels.  Not only are they legitimizing the slavery industry by insisting that paid for sex is consentual- regardless of who the money goes to- but they are also setting the stage for unparalleled corruption due to blackmail,  We are on the wrong side of history here.  Prostitution is the US's new slavery.  Literally.  It is HUGELY profitable and the risks are nominal to the slave traders.

9-Most porn stars are human trafficking victims too.  They have better living conditions if they are highly profitable, but they suffer from every other problem associated with human trafficking.  There has been concern over a porn star's right to pursue this career, but you can't protect the rights of two people against the wholesale torture of 98 people!  Come on, really?

11- Pornography needs to be an illegal industry.  Completely.  Not because it has no artistic merit, but because it is the source of misery and suffering too great to be ignored.  When people fund the pornography industry, they fund human trafficking.  The two industries are actually two separate parts of the same industry.  Porn stars are usually pulled ffom the pool of trafficked prostitutes.

10- Pimps are sociopaths.  In every sense of the word.  They are charismatic men and women who are comfortable commiting murder, torturing children and adults, and profiting from their suffering.  They understand exactly what they are doing to the point that they write books on how to better subdue, nullify, and strip their new slaves of their identities, and enjoy celebrity status for their ability not to give a damn about anyone.  So long as capital punishment is a part of our legal system, it should be the consequence for a convicted pimp.  It is only fair to the dignity or their victims for pimps to be given the fullest extent of the law because they are guilty of any and all crimes ever associated with capital punishment.  When the height of legal punishment is altered, then that should be their consequence.

11- Women are pimps too, not just men.  Just like in the old west where it was the women running the brothels, there are still women running prostitution rings.  One might like to suggest that women pimps must be more concerned about the welfare of their "girls" but that is not necessarily the case.  It's all about the money.  It always is.

12- Prostitution and unequal pay for women are linked.  If you keep women underpaid and helpless, then there will always be a source of cheap sex.  

Perhaps you have to speak to survivors of human trafficking to understand the scope and the tragedy of the situation.  But evil exists.  And this is where you find it.  This industry is very similar to a terrorist organization in the way that it operates and in terms of the kind of people who can successfully run it.  ISIS's Baghdadi is about as good a person as the pimps that I have heard of- to include pimps' personal descriptions of themselves and their life's work.  I have the same opinion of pimps, terrorists, and rotten fish in a hot car.  Get rid of them.  

I heard a firsthand account of a pimp who pretended to love a vulnerable girl without any support system in her life, and with serious emotional problem (he scouted for that).  He swore fidelity and provided for her and kept this ruse up for months, thinking of it as an "investment" in what would be a lucrative "product" for him to market.  After he had won her gratitude, her passion, and her loyalty, he told her he needed her help.  "Of course, baby, anything" she says.  Then he tells her he needs her to have sex with a man who will pay for it- "We really need this money, baby.  I'm in trouble and this will save me".  She says no, and he says, "haven't I done everything for you, I gave you everything I had.  You're my one and only and I took the bullet for you"  Then he beats her within an inch of her life.  Literally.  He tended to her recovery, like a lover, and said "'m so sorry baby.  You I know I love you.  I need you so much.  It just drove me crazy when I thought you didn't love me back.  Made me jealous."  She forgave him, she promised she loved him and swore there was nobody else.  She agreed that he would do anything for her and she swore the same. After her recovery, he asked her again and this time the look in his eye told her that she had better be careful.  She was still entangled in a love relationship with him, and she was too screwed up to work that out, but she knew then that she was part of a very dangerous game.  She knew that this choice was about whether or not she remained herself.  She said no.  He buried her alive.  He buries everything excepting her eyes and her nose.  Then he asks her again.  Something independent inside her willed her to say no.  Then he covered up her face with dirt and sprayed it with water.  He left her choking and suffocating until she knew that she was dying, then cleared away the mud.  Unable to move or defend herself, she looked helplessly at him.  He looked at her coldly and said, "This is the last time I will ask you. If you every refuse me anything again, you will die."  The choice was no longer about remaining herself.  It was about remaining alive.  She said yes.  They always say yes.  This is how the game works.

He branded her with his tattoo..  She went to work for him. The expensive part of his investment in her was now over and she was thrown into the mix with his other whores. She was broken inside, and he kept her desperate for attention, for acknowledgment.  He gave her a gift or a smile often enough that he became her source of self-esteem. Her gave her special tasks to perform for him, praised her for loyalty to him- so loyalty to him became her source of self-esteem.  He continued to have sex with her so that the real sexual relationship in her life was with him.  He was thoughtful about this process- this is how the game works.  This is how the money is made.  He gave her a daily quota to meet which required her to sleep with about 20 people a night.  He beat her if she did not meet this quota.  He told her that he would kill her if she used drugs- all of the money was to come to him, not a dealer.  She was to recruit new prostitutes for him, but he was sly to break her in. He told her that there was a young mother at the park with two little ones and it was getting cold and dark.  He said to her "there are already men with their eyes on her, you know what is going to happen.  Go save her!  Go save those babies!  Here is some money, go and take her to dinner!"  She ran to save this girl who reminded her of herself.  She ran to protect her from the gang rape in the park that was forming.  She took the girl and the babies to dinner and received a text, "I know where you are, I see you.  Bring the girl to me now or I kill you both"  And she knew he meant what he said.  He had executed other girls for less. She brought in the girl. Now she felt guilty, worthless.  But she was driven to survive.  He acknowledged her "success" and allowed her to buy herself a dog or a cat.  This animal became her all.  It also became the leverage that he needed to continue to control her.  This is how the game is played.  He told her that if she ever ran away, he would kill her dog.  She knew what he was capable of.  She knew that he dealt in very young girls too.  She knew that if she ever squealed on him, he would hunt her down to the ends of the earth, relentlessly.  This is how the game is played.  He had taken her ID.  He had taken all of her other possessions.  He told her she would become a porn star.  She said, "Of course I will" , knowing that the alternative was death.  Then she cried to herself.  She became a very famous porn star and people thought that she was living the high life, that she had arrived.  She lived in his hell for years, until he deemed her no longer lucrative.  Then he shot her in the head and threw her in the ocean.  She miraculously survived and floated over the border into Mexico.

In the moment, seeing the havoc that he had intentionally wreaked in her life, the sorrow, and the torture that would never really leave her or let her function as a normal human being, I burned with rage.  Later, I learned of a mass grave of dead girls in his area.

People speak sadly of the treatment of women in the Middle East and Asia and sorrow over their situation, and there is merit to what is being said.  Men and women there do, as the Arab author Ghada Samaan said, ask themselves, "Is this a home, is this a society, or is this an institution dedicated to brainwashing women?  What about the tragedy of a generation that retains only the useless portions of its inherited traditions? "  She speaks also of the need for affirmation of the work that women do, whether inside or outside of the home- that the work that women do is not viewed as legitimate work and that they recieve very little remuneration for it.  It is a problem in the Middle East.  But it is no less a problem here, though the dynamics are a little different.  In spite of the fact that prostitutes never get holidays off and work 6-7 days a week under terrible and unregulated working conditions, this is not considered legitimate work and there is NO legitimate remuneration.  Even other women fear prostitutes, and consider them a danger to their husbands.  Yes, there is a danger but, dammit, the danger rests with her husband!  If I am fat, I am not going to blame the chocolate industry for making truffles!  If her husband has sexual intercourse with a prostitue, how does she manage to direct her anger at the child who was tricked into prostitution and raped by her husband?  Why not be angry at the man who brokered the rape and ended up with the money?  Why not be angry at the idiot she married?  Why, in territories where prostitution is legal, are the prostitutes regularly given exams to protect the johns? Why are the johns never tested?  It is because these women are expendable.  To everyone!

Last October, I was talking to my sister about protecting the right of a woman to be a prostitute if she so chooses.  And she gave me the fish eye!  As I said, there has been a lot of water under the bridge since then.  Muddy water.  Septic, really. And I have just gone along with the process in hopes of finding the most useful thing I can do.  I think that is the difference between a pinprick of change with big results and a castle in the sky with mere theoretical value.

March 5, 2015

I have looked over my critical path and laughed.  Ah, sometimes I think I know something.  Sometimes I make plans.  And they really are just a rough draft, aren't they?  People need love, someone needs a bandaid, people get hungry between meals, baby needs a diaper, there's an emergency or a traffic jam, the car won't start, or sometimes the plan just needs an overhaul. The final product will be beautiful and it will be worth it if the plan changes shape with the emerging picture of what we really need, and I've had to make adjustments at every step of the process.  As a musician and a writer, it seemed at first that I was working backwards from the way that I usually work, but upon closer inspection, it is the same.  As I write a song, I follow the emerging shape of what I am creating in order to pain the emotion or picture that I eventually find- but I always have some idea in mind when I start, even if it is only a key to start in.  As a writer, I begin with an idea and I have to go where inspiration takes me, because if I didn't, it wouldn't be art.  I want my project to be a work of art, beautiful and powerful.  

Here's my critical path as I wrote it at the beginning of the semester, with notes about the current state of affairs.

Critical Path

15 weeks left

Week 1- Get the ball rolling on non-profit “The Safety Net”, find a dentist in Erie Pennsylvania and a dentist in Provo, UT who are willing to treat Laurin and Jamie on a pro bono basis ASAP. Ask dentists for advice about long-term solutions. (so, Laurin has had her teeth fixed and is out of pain.  The dental council in PA has not returned my call and I have had no takers in Erie.  At all.  I even got hung up on once- not by a dentist, just a receptionist who had apparantly worn tight shoes to work and wanted to take it out on the world.  As for long term benefits, I have discussed this with the Department of Workforce Services and it is true, in spite of what I had been told by survivors, that you can get disability and medical benefits if you are willing to get diagnosed with DID.  When I last talked with Laurin, she confirmed that she refuses to be certified disabled.  She said, certainly it is a solution if you are willing to go that route.  Yes, it is.  And I hope that she won't prevent people from getting the help that she isn't getting for herself by withholding information that she is not using.)

Week 2- Discuss with Laurin and Legislator Cosgrove what elements must be included in informational flyer.  Begin flyer.  Follow up on dentists’ advice to find dentists who will work with survivors.  Point out that there may be benefits available to them but that relationship is not yet clear. (Had a bit of an upset here.  In talking to Laurin for the first time, I got the feeling that she might have a need to remain a victim. I'm not saying I know anything, but I got that feeling.  After negative response from dentists, I turned my attention to mredicare.  Surely these women qualify!  I called the Department of Workforce Services and it was immediately apparant that a mere informational flyer would not suffice.  There was already so much relevant information that it would require a directory of some kind.  And the information has continued to accumulate.  I have not fleshed out my relationship with Mr, Cosgrove at this time because it has not been necessary, and he is a very busy physician who moonlights as a legislator)

Week 2- Pursue education about the relationship between Medicare and prostitutes.  Continue work on flyer. (Discovered that medicare is potentially available to victims of human trafficking under the following circumstanced- they have a qualifying disability, they are pregnant, they are blind. Now, injuries from a gunshot to the head qualify, Dissociative Identity Disorder ought to apply.  There is a 30-90 waiting period for this to go through and for disability to start, so that leaves us with a 90 day period of vulnerability that needs to be addressed.  It is the issues related to obtaining housing, medical care, and income that keep people in.  It is also the difficulty associated with obtaining identification.  The Department of Workforce Services has a Federal program housed in its builing called the Life Program.  It is funded by a Federal Grant under the Workforce Investment Act.  It has a great deal of wiggle room and if a qualifying person (at risk youth, unemployed adult) comes into their program, they will help that person obtain their ID, they will help them earn their GED or diploma, they will help them find work, and they will reimburse their employer wages during their training period.  This is amazing.  This program can do the work of many.  But hardly anyone knows that it is there, and I found it by luck and persistence)

Week 3- Share info with Senator Wyler, Legislator Cosgrove, and Laurin and discuss either implementing or creating resources.  Talk to Laurin about the art project for the campus exhibit, agree on a project.  Discuss with Laurin whether or not it will be necessary to have a second city to operate out of for survivors who are not safe in Utah and if so, what city already has some of the resources that we need.  Continue work on flyer.(Sticking with just Utah for now, and definitely not creating resources.  I am not building a community anymore, I am building a referring network- increasing the dissemination of available information.  Once I learned how much was already out there, it became a waste of time to try to develop it) 

Week 4- Talk to hotels about vouchers for shelter in the meantime.   Handle the immediate need. (Did not do this yet, as son was very ill.  It is beginning to look unecessary- Rock Starr Ministries has started a fundraiser to build a retreat for their girls, and HOUSE is a group working on a similar project.  Anything I tried to do will only duplicate what they are doing, will not get done any faster, and they know what they are doing, whereas I do not.  In the meantime, I found a place called South Valley Sanctuary that has available beds, does not require ID, does not ask questions about a person's legal record and only has one admission criteria- that the woman be in imminent danger.  The 90 day vulnerable period is not a problem.  Their Director told me that they love success stories and women (yes, just women) are allowed to stay as long as they need the support system.  BOOM!  As for the guys, there is a male survivor who is running a for boys and men shelter.  It just got off the ground.  This issue really is at its genesis and every solution I have heard of that is actually geared toward human trafficking is at its inception or still on the drawing board)

Week 5- Talk to UTA, Greyhound, Jet Blue, Delta, and American Airlines about vouchers for travel to get survivors to their safe beds. (Currently, Rockstarr Ministries and funding their travel.  I still plan to make this relationship)

Week 6- Pursue education about the relationship between federal financial student aid and prostitutes.  Make appointments with the LDS church, Catholic Church, Episcopalian church, and the Unitarian churches to discuss safe beds.  Finish flyer. (This is one of the points where I laughed.  Best laid plans.  Safe beds being built, did figure out about federal financial student aid and the process.  No flyer.  I am working on compiling a directory instead)

Week 7- Meet with refugee center director and discuss operations issues.  Meet with one church- take flyer. (I ended up conducting most of my meetings over the phone after several reschedulings.  It was a lot easier for everyone and just as beneficial.  I did call some churches and find out what awesome programs they already have)

Week 8- Pursue education about the relationship between SNAP benefits and other welfare benefits and prostitutes.  Meet with the second church.  (So, disability is a longer term program, but a person can get unemployment benefits and food stamps for 90 days without having to verify income.  After that, they have to have a job of some kind for the benefits to continue.  This is great.  It covers that critical 90 period (excepting the time it takes for it to get going) This progra is truly dedicated in every way to helping and encouraging people who can work to get and hold down a job, and to provide help to those who can not work)

Week 9- Find program for prisoners re-entering society and learn what benefits are available to convicted criminals. ( I have left messages with the department of correction's public relations officer, but I have not heard back.  I'll call again and see if I can't get her)

Week 10- Determine which, of the resources we need, we already have access too, and which we are starting from square one.  Meet with the third church. (Have done this as a gap analysis, as per my teacher's request.  In order to do this, I created all the categories of support that a person would need and then filled in the blanks.  The gaps were the spaces left blank.  The gaps I found were advocacy, safe and immediately available jjhousing, connection to benefits, and safe employment.  I'll address these in a future blog)

Week 11- Meet with the last church.  Contact the medical societies in Salt Lake City and the other city to discuss finding Dr.’s/ OBGYNs who will agree to work with survivors. (Unecessary as those who are willing to get disability can do so, and those who are not can go to the fourth street clinic.

Week 12- Find out how to discuss the same info with psychotherapists and chiropractors and start that conversation. (Fourth Street Clinic has behavioral health services, medicare pays for therapy, and no one has expressed any interest in chiropractic) 

Week 13- Begin work on employment opportunities.  Identify high turn-over fields that can hire sex offenders and begin discussions with employers.  (This is handled by the WIA program that I talked about earlier- The Life Program.  There is a website that directs people to convict friendly employers.  It is www.xamire.com.  You choose the state that you are in and it will tell you who hires felons.  Some chain businesses will have felon restrictions depending on the location, some will have restrictions as to type of felony, for example, violent felons restrited.  Others have no restricitons.  I was actually surprised how many there are.  This is a good resource and needs exposure because no one, victim or not, that I spoke to had heard of it unitl I talked to the Life Program.  This program is awesome)

Week 14- Talk to Savers and other charity shops about clothing, shoes, bags, housewares, and linens for survivors.  Work out details for accounting. (I was waiting on hearing back from the department of corrections so that I could just piggy back off of their relationships.  I still haven't heard back from them.  I did not include this issue in my gap analysis, it is still unresolved whether or not this is provided)

Week 15- Talk to food vendors- maybe Chick-fil-A, Taco Bell, McDonald’s, and Smith’s Marketplace about gift certificates for food. 
(Unecessary.  The food is out there and it is available.  The issue is getting that information to the hungry, and whether or not they are willing to be helped in that way.  No one can decide that for them)

Okay, aside from the fact that I made two week #2's, it was really just a best guess of how things would go.