Life, Examined
2014-2015
Moving through my day...
moving through my world...
I wake up in my cocoon, wrapped in my favorite blanket and cuddled with my baby. I feel comfortable and happy. I feed him.
I have apparently streamlined my movements. It is time to change the baby's diaper, so I turn on my lamp and voila! Everything I need is right next me.
I'm not saying I prefer it. I don't really like to be in crowds, especially with little ones, but it's way better than driving. Why? Because, while it is crowded and there is risk involved, it is less dangerous and it is not ugly. Something about ugliness offends my spirit. I don't mean ugly as in a warthog or the dog poop we continually clean up out of our yard. Yes, that is ugly. Nasty, even. But it feels like part of the world that I belong to. I do not belong on the road.
I wake up in my cocoon, wrapped in my favorite blanket and cuddled with my baby. I feel comfortable and happy. I feed him.
From dawn
to dusk
A journal of my movements, impressions, moods, and feelings as I move through my daily world and the things that I notice as I do so.
As I compiled this slideshow, it became more and more apparant to me that I have been making up for moving around so much by becoming ultra-settled. For example, I now own a home in the same city I grew up in. I have created a lovely flower garden, a large vegetable garden, an orchard, and a large berry patch with strawberries, goji berries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. I own two dogs, one cat, and a lot of chickens. I realize that I have tried to recreate the same outdoor home of my childhood (and I spent most of my childhood outdoors).
I also maintain and use a lot of family heirlooms, and items made or given to me by family members. I realize that, in my wanderings, they have provided me with links to home. Here are a few examples of things that make me feel more settled and secure in my home:
 StrainerThe perfect tool for the job. When I cook with my ancestors' tools, I feel as if I am with them somehow. We are all on the same team, providing and caring for our family. |  Tea cupsMy sister made the two on the right and my son made the one on the left. I admire their craftsmanship and love to drink peppermint tea or eat cereal from these. |  WainscottingMy husband and I made this wainscoting from some boards left over from a restaurant remodel. It suits us, it feels warm and inviting and much more like home than a plain white wall. |
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 CandlestickAnother heirloom. They just mean more to me than anything I could buy. |  SofaThis is an old girl. She just needs new feathers every fifty years or so and regular cleaning. Some people feel that old furniture is unsanitary but I disagree. If you keep it up, and restore it, it is fine. It's like having history with you. Mine is not the only family that has laughed and talked on it. Old, lived-in furniture makes me feel more at home. The swag over the curtains is a sari that a friend brought back to me from India. I've had it for years and it has had many uses. |  BooksThe brown one is a compilation of my ancestor's journals. The stories are amazing. I have become so familiar with their stories that I feel like I know them. The reds are a grandmother's sheet music library, and the planter is an old pickle crock that a grandmother once used. |
 Tea kettleAn heirloom. Not only is it beautiful and the perfect size for a large family, it is rich with history. |  Drum tableThe drum table is an heirloom. The pitchers are souvenirs from traveling. The lamp is a gift from an aunt, the pot was made by my sister and the bonsai bowl belonged to my grandmother. The large pot was given to me by a dear friend before she died, and my mother gave me the chair. I am surrounded by gifts and history in this room. No wonder I feel like I belong here. |  Cross stitchMy mother made this for me as a birthday gift. Enough said. |
 Dining arrangementsMy husband and sons made me these benches for Mother's Day. I love them! |  Grandma's chairI took care of both of David's grandmothers before their deaths. After his maternal grandmother died, her children gave me this chair and cabinet. My own grandparents were not a huge presence in my life and she had become almost more of a grandmother to me than my own. This is the chair that she sat in for as long as I knew her and almost constantly for the last couple years of her life. It is a symbol to me of her confinement, her courage, her optimism, and her persistence. |  Mirror and shelfThis mirror and shelf had belonged to my husband's grandmother. They were beautiful, but a fairly hideous color. A little paint fixed all that and here they are, welcoming people in to our home and providing a little friendly service. |
 FlowersThis is an arrangement that we gave to my husband's grandmother for Mother's Day, in her favorite colors. It was given back to us after she passed away. It really does make me think of her and I wonder sometimes what she would make of my decisions. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cringe, and other times I just have to laugh imagining the shock on her face! |
I have come to realize that I have surrounded myself with family gifts, family history, family heirlooms, and family lore. I cook on the same cast-iron pan that my husband's great grandmother used to use. This seems strange to some. A lot of people want everything to be new for them. Granted, I would never wear an ancestors undies! But I think it takes a little perspective. Families used to be born, sleep, and die in the same bed. Only in recent history has this become strange. I tend to think of it as the great sanitizing of our lives. We are so separated from our dead! The mortuary picks them up so we can no longer hold vigil over them until their funerals. But the cycle of life, death, and the gore of birth are all just as real as our cars, refrigerators, and air fresheners.